Grief Became My Identity

Grief Became My Identity was written during a time when sorrow was no longer something I carried, but something that carried me. It reflects the moment when grief stops being an event and becomes a state of being — shaping language, posture, memory, and selfhood. This poem emerged alongside my Broken Heart Series, as I began to understand how prolonged loss can transform pain into armor, obsession, and survival.

This poem does not attempt to soften grief or resolve it. Instead, it bears witness to what happens when mourning becomes identity — when love, rage, devotion, and exhaustion collapse into a single force that both protects and consumes.

Grief Became My Identity

I embodied my wrath.

Battled the universe.

Spoke with enmity.

Waged war with my words.

“Either take notice,

Or stay out of my way.”

I endured my pain.

Every rejection.

Every blade.

Every cut.

The brutal mutilation of my once tender heart.

I gave in to my sorrow.

Vast.

Infinite.

Bottomless.

My tears flowed freely.

Endlessly.

Filled rivers,

Lakes,

Oceans.

Rained down on the seeds,

Germinated new life.

Grief was my reality.

Powerful.

Palpable.

Absolute.

Obsessed with my torment.

Engrossed in my suffering.

Engulfed by my misery.

Addicted to the agony that bound me to you.

Terrified to let go.

To lose you once again.

Grief became my identity.

My shelter.

My shield.

My sword.

Until,

Sucked dry of all compassion,

There was nothing left of me.